Turtles All the Way Down by John Green

Yes, I am a huge John Green fan. And yes, I liked this book very much. I was delighted that the last sentence of so many paragraphs were profound and spoke a basic truth. It's like he peppered small philosophical statements throughout the whole story.

We have Aza who is struggling with a mental disorder that causes a voice in her head to tell her she will contract some horrible illness from microbes. She knows that microbes are in all of us. Maybe she is just the host. Maybe the microbes actually control her. Maybe she doesn't even control her own thoughts. Even with therapy and medicine (which she doesn't always take), the nagging thoughts are still there. It is excruciating at times to feel Aza go through it.

Aza's best friend Daisy is much more extroverted. They have been friends since grade school and often hang out at Applebee's using a bunch of coupons (much to the disdain of their usual waitress). Neither have a lot of money and both go to public school.

Daisy is particularly interested when one of the city's wealthiest businessmen disappears on the eve of his arrest. Aza went to a camp with the man's son (named Davis), so Daisy is sure they can use that connection to help solve the mystery (and get the reward). Aza is not so sure. Will Davis even remember her? And even if he does, he lives in a mansion and goes to private school.

This story is not about the solving the mystery; it is about Aza coming to grips with her life. John Green does an extraordinary job of putting us right in her head. Dealing with anxiety myself, I know what it is like to have those irrational thoughts that seem beyond my control. I like to say my brain is working against me as if it is completely separate from me. It is a rare and amazing thing to hear your own voice in a story. This book is one of those times. I felt Aza's pain all the more because I have personally felt some of her struggle.

For more info, check out the Indianapolis Public Library catalog and the author's site.